First experience with heroin, wow what a rush…… Relaxation, comfort, laying down and closed my eyes, every thing stood still, couldn’t actually believe what I’ve done….. Fear rushing down my face, fuxk it I’m even sweating my palms out. “don’t try to talk, ngoba uzophalaza” the wise words of the influencer…….
My feet were weak, couldn’t even help myself stand up, from smoking Marijuana joints, to whoonga joints in just a split second.
It’s to late to turn back now he said…. At first I didn’t understand that but when all the denial has past, and I’m in the OST program and learning to deal with ma addictions, as I’m 8 months clean and going strong I didn’t even want to think about or tel my story on how I first experienced heroin, but I guess it’s time to march on and tel my story and help other heroine using people out thier that’s its not the end of the world, together we can achieve more and with the right help from the right people we can all do this. As I am on my way on to becoming a drug activist and fight for the rights of people who use drugs, and coming onto this program has opened many doors and has lightened my mind on how to look at the simplest things we took for granted.
I didn’t know why I originally used heroin and was in denial that IL never become a “phara” because of all the expensive clothes and lifestyle i lived.
expensive clothes and lifestyle i lived.
How my life changed on that day when I saw on of my closest friends using heroin and he comfortly and courageously said he’s been using this drug for 2years now and that time I was still being amazed at smoking Marijuana because I was in grade 8 and that’s where life actually starts for most teenagers and I started way way way on the wrong foot.
I guess being well known and having people love you for your good heart actually messed me up.
So this friend of mine called me to his place and that time it was myself and eight other close friends that I grew up with and went to primary school with.
When we got to his house he openedly ask me are all of us going to smoke this one joint and all the guys just laughed and I was the only one that was confused at the time what joint we smoking.
So we all contributed and Marijuana at that time was about R2 for a bag, but they all put to the table, R50 & R20 notes and I was quite surprised by the fact that money was reaching close to R300.
So he took the money and he went out the room. 10 minutes later he came back and place on the table 3 plastic blue bags filled with this whitery powder. I sited back for this one
cause wanted to see what was going to go on, and they
rolled the weed and places this white substance in and when
u look at the guys you can see its not the first time doing this they all professionals. The fact that my friends have been
doing this for so long and I don’t know about it shocked me,
so that’s when I wanted to fit in so bad and so hard, I pushed myself into addiction and the long journey of withdrawals, pain, emotional suffering and heartache to family and loved one.
I still believe I too have been smoking for long but I didn’t know what I was smoking, but because that they I was told it’s Sugars(that’s what they called it when I first started to smoke). We even came up with a word so people wouldn’t know what we smoking, we called it “Cheese Muff”. Lol(laugh out loud), till this day I laugh about how I defended myself and defended the guys when my girlfriend used to tell me that is not weed your smoking now and I’m getting worried, how i continuesly lied to her face over and over again, but still today she’s with me and I’m sure blessed for her to be at my side and to have someone support me like she did.
I still didn’t know what I was smoking, but I asked them to pass on the joint and I smoked!!
So that’s why I strongly believe that weed is the gate way drug to all drugs. Its lead me from being this cute looking boy, to this
sneaking lieing little boy that snuk out to his mothers room to steal a few hundred Rand notes. Wow I did that hey, went beyond all my values and So it was mainly hiding from people that I used the drug and had a Granny flat, and I turned it to a club. Where the regular boys from the neighborhood could come around and get their freakiness on. My life revolved around making other people happy and didn’t really look at what made me happy.
So I believed heroin makes me happy, I refused to quit and told everyone that said I have a drug problem that they were mad and they the one that needed help.
I never realized that I was getting dirty by the day.
Telling myself I’ll never be a phara, I’ll always be clean,but you should’ve seen what I looked like when I said all those words. So from thier, I got into this phases that I’m living for now and nothing is going to change that. Other big influences were the gang life, getting arrested and wanting to fit in with some of the other big dogs on the streets. When you look at it and when I sit and listen to people’s stories that I hanged out with, they stories were abit deep and they ended up on the streets from all their past mistakes that the substances made em do, and when I look at myself, I see that I putted myself in someone’s shoes and tried living a life that was far away from mines. But I don’t complain for living that life but I take it as God trying to work his way through me and work with me to help other substances abusers change thier lives because people still ask me today that how did I manage to change my life. If you knew me back then you’d be shocked that it’s
Mission Hero that you talking to, but if u knew me from my upbringing, you just smile and say to yourself “Mission Hero is back” and he’s kicking ass!!
I loved using that phrase that I’m going to kick ass whenever I got into a good mood.
So I named my Granny flat ‘Spook lounge’, and felt as if I was a famous club owner that had the hottest joint on the block. People came freely to visit and have fun with me because iv never said no, in what ever you asked me.
And you may ask yourself, were was my parents at the time. beliefs I stood for.